I love this quote

OK, I love a lot of quotes but just saw this on a sign at a church
"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty." ~Author Unknown

kids say the darndest

post 1 in the minipost series

Sarah (4) when it's 95 degrees out daily says "I'm not going to swimming lessons, the water's too cold"

Sarah(4) when being tickled "If you let me go I'll let you clean my room"

5 kids and no minivan aka the transmission saga

So anyone want to hear about the drive home from camping? Halfway home on a 3 hr drive the kids start to get cranky. I think it's time to grab some dinner. Do you want to stop at Cracker Barrel (the usual sit down stop) there's one at this exit, oops too late. I'll check the GPS for food. Nearest food along our route is over 20 miles. No that's OK don't turn around, they'll be OK....What the heck happened? Car won't go, sounds and acts like it's in neutral...worse than when the transmission died on the Lumina, at least then I could drive the 2 miles home in 1st gear it just wouldn't shift. The good news? We were able to glide to a stop off of the road on the side of an exit ramp. It could also be good news that the exit had NOTHING so no worry of traffic, but also nowhere to eat.

OK 6pm on a Sunday in the bible belt, broke down, 1½ hrs from home with 7 people, umm...right. Our spare car isn't big enough for us all, my sister's isn't either, my parents? nope. I have 1 sister who has a minivan BUT she was on the trip too. She left early that morning though, maybe she's home. 30 minutes from the nearest real city, probably an hour from the nearest airport, I just don't see Enterprise delivering in a timely manner. I don't even wanna know what an 88 mile cab ride costs. So my dad and brother in law can both come get us or maybe my sister is home already so my dad can borrow her van. More bad news, she's not home. What? She's 20 miles BEHIND us. So she'll be there in 15 minutes . The tow truck has 2 bench seats...even sweeter. I am very thankful for my guardian angels that day. Though my sister and her family are awesome too and I have to love AAA. The 3 babies and I road with my sister and her babies in their minivan. Brian, the 2 older ones, my brother in law and his older kids rode in the tow truck. The tow truck even stopped at the gas station so they got snacks. We got McDonalds. Though I can't honestly say a 1½ hr van ride with a 10 month old, 2, 3, 4 and 5 year old is exactly quiet. We even had to juggle carseats around again at McDonalds to quiet some.

Oh don't worry, there's more to come...2 weeks worth of "more".

a moms 1st tent camping trip

Yes, you read that right, FIRST time. I have been camping, as a child, I barely remember it but it was in a 5th wheel type camper I think (don't know my campers, or camping for that matter). Now I have come a long way in going on trips. From my 1st trip with a child, my 1st was 3 months old and bottlefed. It was a 21 hr drive and I made us make reservations to stay over TWICE on the way up. I even sat in the backseat next to her the entire trip (and that's something since I am prone to motion sickness). Just to find out the baby slept the whole way. And then packing? I packed as if we were moving to a 3rd world country.

That was then, this is now. 5 kids, the baby was 10 months old, it wasn't exactly primitive camping but it was a tent. So we start with our large 14'x12' tent, yes I was worried it wouldn't fit at an individual campsite, luckily we had a group site. Add in the jogging stroller I never take on trips because of it's size. A large Rubbermaid full of food, a large cooler, ok we definitely need the topper for the van. I really was trying to conserve though, it was only a 2 night trip so some packed backpacks, others shared their small suitcases. I didn't bring pool toys or floats, just their lifejackets (there was a lake with boating) which could double as floats right?(tell that to my kids) I did bring some balls to play with, the whole medicine cabinet, sunscreen, bug repellant, the obligatory 3 baby carriers (1 for the pool, 1 for me, 1 for daddy) etc. OK I did bring a few air mattresses, hey, I'm 30 something, the floor doesn't cut it at my age. But what did I forget?....

:-D .... toothbrushes. Luckily the drugstore wasn't far.

Day 1---set up camp, play on the playground and eat dinner. OK this is probably only half camping because yes, we had a playground and it was Girl Scouts so someone else cooked a full meal. But honestly, I was dissappointed we didn't get roasted weenies. Call me odd but I love a good partially burnt hot dog, it's my favorite kind. I was surprised everyone went to bed so well with others around making noise, being in a tent, etc. So I got to sit around the campfire with my husband and other grown ups, talking...did I mention I was talking to grown ups...while my 4 youngest slept just feet away and my oldest was out fishing with a friend and some other adults. It was fun.

Day 2---the kids slept in, no I am not crazy, majoritively they slept in, even once people started getting up. I was up, I even felt rested, yet my kids were still sleeping. Then, even when they got up, despite all the stimulation and the later bedtime the night before, Rebecca had a good day (oh man, that reminds me, I didn't give her her medicine today, nothing I can do about it at 5 pm, humph). It was a busy day too. Breakfast again was cooked by someone else. Then we went gem mining. It was fun, but the kids certainly didn't need such large buckets, I thought we'd be there forever. I think 10 minutes would have still made the kids happy and I wouldn't have gotten so bored. Besides Anna only wanted to ride on my back so long before she got down. I am sure we all know what happened when she got down (she wanted to eat the rocks). Then back to the campground for swimming (yes it had a pool too, this is probably sounding less and less like camping), lunch and a nap (not me). Then we headed out to see the caverns. It was fun, but wet, I have been in caverns before but never one that dripped on you constantly. The kids enjoyed it, noone got scared, and Brian even wore Joey in the Ergo. Back to the campground for some boating, playing, dinner and relaxing. Another good day.

Day 3---not so much sleeping in but still rested feeling. Today is the day to pack up. That was not the fun part. Anna would eat grass, dirt and rocks if put down. Brian really needed help with the tent. The rest of the kids were eager to get to the pool. But we did finish. We then really wore ourselves out. The pool, boating, picnic lunch, more boating, more swimming, and some mini golf. I was ready to fall over. Luckily we had a 3 hr car drive to relax. Or at least I thought....definitely read the next post for the much less fun, much more eventful, trip home. As for camping, I don't think I got a real taste of it so I want to go back.

Concept Van for moms

So Ford has a really neat Concept van right now http://www.gizmag.com/ford-explores-the-future-of-the-family-car-the-transit-connect-family-one-concept-/11425/picture/74599/

In theory some of the ideas are great but as the mom of more than 2 I see the flaws in some as well. OK biggest flaw being it's not big enough for my family lol. But, for real, hand sanitizer and sunscreen dispensers? Even if I did use hand sanitizer and didn't use spray sunscreen because otherwise I'd be rubbing in sunscreen all day with 6 people to do. But anyway even if I did I wonder how they made it so you could clean it out, so it doesn't get clogged, so the sunscreen doesn't heat up (I mean the outside temperature alone in SC is 100 degrees), etc or did they not? Though if it worked it might be a nice backup in case you forgot sunscreen at home.

A stroller stored IN the floor, awesome, now I have more room to put other stuff. Oh but wait, how do I get to the stroller once the other stuff is on top of the access? I mean don't soccer moms also have chairs, balls, etc and I need to get my stroller out first to help me hall all that stuff.

The technology to give you directions, get your calendar, etc right in the dash would be nice if it weren't ...well... so 1990s. I mean techno moms were using Palm Pilots and are now using smartphones. Who leaves the house without their cell?

Built in scooters? AWESOME, my kids always want those at the park, or when we are already loaded in the van headed to Baseball, 5 minutes late, they want to throw them in the trunk. Oh wait, these are my kids we're talking about, those scooters would never make it back to their designated spots in the van again so we still wouldn't have them.

It doesn't specify the kids "entertainment options", I am sure they are great. But when it all comes down to it, all the entertainment in the world still won't keep them from arguing with their sister.

Electronic tags so you don't forget things? Hmm, wonder how I can rig that up onto my daughters medicine or the other ones reading logs. Yes we won't forget the backpacks or lunch boxes but if they don't put the work in the backpack or leave the lunchbox at school when they come home on the bus I guess it won't do much for us.

I wonder how well the carseat installation wizard works. If it really worked that would be great in helping reduce improperly installed carseats since they are more than in the majority. Can it remind moms that their 30 lb 4 yr old still needs a carseat too?

Walkie Talkies? I sure hope the kids can't reach them in transit, I can just imagine all the squeeling as 4 kids all are trying to use them at once right next to each other mid drive.

OK, plain and simple too, I sure hope that isn't the look they are going for because talk about industrialized looking ugly.

Ford tried to be ahead of their time back in 2001 too, http://smartwomanonline.com/home-service/auto-options/2008/01/minivans-live/ Now some of those concepts are worth looking at heated and cold cupholders? Hot coffee in the winter and frozen lattes in the summer? That's what I'm talking about! Built in vacuum as well as washer/dryer, definitely something to consider for all those hours we want in carpool line, at soccer practice, dance class, etc. Gameboy hookups to keep from fights over the 1 car charger.

Of course as a mom we all know there are a few noone will consider but we really need. Limo glass, personally, I want 2 sets, one to just seperate us from all the kids, the other to just seperate the rear row for when the middle row is trying to sleep. Cell phone dock that accepts ANY cell phone. Because when you drop your phone and break it or the baby naws it to death or the toddler spills sweet tea in it we have to order yet again a new car charger. Or your husband has to have 2, 1 for his car and 1 for yours, or your teenager always forgets to charge theirs until you say, "are you taking your phone?" Better yet a universal charging dock so you can also charge your camera on the way to the awards ceremony or your daughters batteries for her gotta have MP3 player. A pulley system would be nice too, for sending stuff from front row to 3rd row and vice versa. Restraining devices for 9 year old tantrums would be nice too, oh wait, is that legal? Someone else suggested individual pods, now theres an idea, not only can't they touch each other but they can't talk to or look at each other. Hmm...a whole diapering station how about. You know a holder for diapers and wipes with a flip down changing table. That way you don't have to change the baby on the front seat or walk through next to the sliding door b/c the cargo area has too much stuff, instead you can just change them over the stuff. Then you add back in that mini washer/dryer to throw those pooped on clothes into.

Of course I'd just settle for a HYBRID minivan with leg room for a 5'5" 12 year old in the 3rd row. Though a built in potty wouldn't be bad either because we all know the 4 year old will wait till you are all the way out to the van and every single person is buckled, it's 90 degrees out and you are 30 minutes from home to then announce she has to "go potty".

All the Advantages...

...go to...who? Which child gets all that? You know the experts all have something to say. "Only children often develop better verbal skills and excel in school because they are read to more often than children with siblings, she said. " says an ABC article on the subject of only children http://i.abcnews.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/Story?id=2178396&page=1 Oddly enough, here I thought the more kids I had the more read to they were. I mean each and every one gets read to by myself and Brian. But the older kids can read to themselves, but can also read to siblings. As much as some people would like us to believe that helping with younger siblings is such a "hassle", I can't seem to convince my kids of that. A toddler carrying a book around our house usually ends in, "Do you want sissy to read that to you?...come here and sit with me". Of course the toddlers are usually excited to hear yet another story, but even if they aren't my 9 yr old has been known to chase them down anyway. Even the toddlers who can't read are more than eager to "read" to the baby. When my 9 yr old was having some trouble learning so more reluctant to read, she was always more than happy to read to a little one, great advantage to both. Now when my 1st grade niece comes over she loves to show off her reading skills to the little ones. Now with 2 parents, 4 older siblings and 5 older cousins very close by I don't think there are babies who get read to more.

But what about other things? Experts say at least a 5 year gap results in children who excell better academically. Remind me to tell my 2 straight A honors students when they get home. On the other end of the spectrum though Pope John Paul II said it is far worse to deprive a child of a sibling than material posessions. Of course tell that to the kids too.

So really, who has the greater advantage? When I had but 1 child she did have all my attention. She also had all my money: gymboree classes, mommy and me swim, playgroups, playground, drop everything, wait for nothing. But she also was the source of my learning, the source of all my expectations, pushing to grow up just eager to see that next milestone. She was also stuck playing with me because there were no other kids in the house. I used to clean to make sure we got rid of all those germs that could make her sick, during that time she played alone. You can be told a thousand times to really slow down and enjoy those days. But until you really experience it you cannot know how fast they really do fly by. So here you rush to a day at the zoo, playgroup, storytime, disney world, the beach, and more. Of course that doesn't mean that every night she wasn't cuddled, she wasn't read to, or rocked. Of course every night that happened. And there was a lot less cleaning to do, a lot more time to play.

Fast forward 12 years to the other extreme. #5 spends the morning without undivided attention in the high chair eating finger foods instead of being spoon fed, while I unload the dishwasher and make several other breakfasts. I do still talk to her though, in between conversations with the other kids and bites of my own breakfast. She does though get 2 more kisses from older siblings on their way out the door to school. She then spends her morning (at least this morning) being played with and entertained (maybe a little tortured by) by a cute 4 yr old, who she has the undivided attention of: "...look at you, your standing up, I knew you could do it, oh do you want this toy, here let me show you how to do it, uh oh you fell down, thats ok now you can play with this..." Soon it's naptime, everything stops so she can still be rocked to sleep. After 4 other kids, I know this will be so short lived so I am that much slower and more reluctant to put her down (ok fine, I admit, she's asleep on my lap). What's the rest of the day to bring? more finger food, maybe a ride on mommy's back while we let the other kids go for a fun walk, playing in the grass while mommy plays catch with a 4 or 9 year old, being taught the
"baby tango" by a 9 year old, being comforted by a 12 yr old while mommy cooks dinner, or sleeping peacefully on mommy's shoulder while mommy and a 12 year old read. I am pretty sure amoung those things there will not be uncomforted tears or a lack or entertainment, and who could ever have too much love.

Oh yes, some of the above implied an older sibling helped, yep, more of that "hassle". I think there is a big difference though between an overburdon of a tween babysitting constantly and the volunteering of a loving sibling. Yep, that's right, I said volunteering. In this house it's rare for me to "ask" a sibling to help. Maybe a second here and there, "can you hold the baby while I run out to the van in the rain to grab her pacifier". But more often it is a content baby playing on the floor, mommy runs to the restroom and baby suddenly fusses and a face or 2 are instantly entertaining. Or baby playing while mommy cooks dinner, baby cries, mommy rushes to finish something real quick but an older child is already swooping her up, "it's ok, I'll get her" mommy says, the response "but she's crying" as they swoop her up and steal some sweat baby snuggles. Yep, and when their friends come over, they're all pretty jealous of that "hassle"

I'd love to babble on more about all the sweet things you see when you sit back and quietly watch the siblings interactions but I hear a 4 yr old teaching a 2 yr old something so I can't help but run to take a peek.

Family Size

Am I the only one stuck in the middle of too big to be normal but too small to be so crazy you get a TV show lol? It seems like a "large" family varies so much. By who you are, where you live, who you hang out with, and even day by day. I mean you go from, "oh an only child?" to the "average" family, then you move on to the next step in "average" when your 3 kids now outnumber the parents. After that 4 is some phenomenum that people only think happens by accident or when you are trying for "that" boy (or girl). Of course once you get that "you are stopping now that you got your boy (or girl), right". So when you have 5 people start to think (with a dropped jaw) you really are one of those crazy people with a bigger than "average" family.

But if you start looking at "large" families, you find the families you see on TV: Jon and Kate plus 8, Table for 12, Kids by the Dozen, 18 kids and counting, (and I am sure Octomom will be in there one day), etc. Hey, maybe I have a small family? That is until I go to Walmart and get the dropped jaws, and the older 2 are even still at school.

So what constitutes a "large" family? The U.S. Census Bureau doesn't offer an official definition of large families, said spokewoman Angela Baker. The bureau's data on children, however, does provide information on siblings. According to the bureau, about 21 percent of children have no siblings, about 39 percent have one sibling, about 25 percent have two siblings, about 10 percent have three siblings and 5 percent have four or more siblings.

I guess I am part of the 5% of parents whose kids have 4 or more siblings. But not large enough to make money off it. I am one of the families too large for a single hotel room but not so big I have to drive a large passenger van. Big enough to draw stares but not so big that I don't still have to take them all out in public every day. I guess I'm a small, large family.

Oh and PS, I am perfectly fine right there.

traveling with many

Well in the planning stages I started saying that planning a trip with/for 5 kids was like planning a convention. As much as we enjoyed Pittsburgh it was hard to plan. Few hotels on the side Brian's work was on so we had to debate considerably about location and hotel suitability. Since for 7 people you need a minimum of a suite (in other words 2 beds and a sofabed). Usually we stay at a Homewood Suites but Pittsburgh seems to be lacking them. We ended up staying 40 minutes from his work so he had to rent a car, no way the kids could do 4 hours a day in the car. Then of course you hate to give bigger families any stigma so want the kids to not disturb anyone but here they are cooped up in a room. We all know kids need exercise and fresh air.

Before the trip I already believed that with 5 kids the probability of someone being upset or, at the very least, loud in the car is a minimum of 5 times higher. So I was quite happy for the decent trip there. The kids were really good at the hotel. But I definitely believe that traveling with babies or toddlers has stages. The first 1-2 nights you have traveling excitement and adrenaline to carry you through the sleeplessness of them getting used to sleeping elsewhere. The next 1 or 2 are hard though, thats gone and they aren't quite adapted, plus the previous nights are catching up with you. After that they do better but you still need to catch up. By the time you are ready to go home they are sleeping well and you aren't as exhausted.

I think the suite would have worked great for an average family of 7. But I wish I hadn't given in to Brian nor paid attention to the hotels limit of 5 in a King Suite. We had 2 double beds and a sofa bed. Anna, Joey and I in 1 double, Brian and Sarah in 1, Emma and Becca on the sofabed. 2 babies and I is a tight squeeze in a double, especially with pillows to prevent roll off. At home we have 3 kids and us in a queen bed with 2 side cars so I thought a king, with or without the cosleeper would have been perfect. Of course Emma and Becca, being such loving siblings had their own issues of someone rolling over, somone touching me, someones feet too far over, etc etc. I think we need a cot for one of them, pretty pitiful. 2 or 3 nights Becca insisted on being with us so slept on the sofa cushions on the floor in our room. Emma liked that, a big bed to herself, well until Becca decided to start sleeping with her again.

Of course, when on a trip, no matter how many times you swear they will go to bed on time, the hecticness knocks you off at some point. I didn't pay for it the 1st day I let them, the 2nd getting them into bed was hard but the next day was fine. That 3rd though, we paid for it. I know it could have been worse. But Becca losing it in the car was not my cup of tea. She didn't hurt anyone really, well I haven't had our hearing tested to be sure but we all appear to still be hearing. But Brian started melting down too (you see why I can call him a 6th child sometimes). I would love to say lesson learned, but I've been there done that, learned the lesson and still done it again.

I do get over a month off before we have to travel again. Am I crazy to be looking forward to the 3 trips in June?

Introduction

OK, I watch all those new family shows: Jon and Kate plus 8, Table for 12, 18 kids and counting, etc. But they leave out some of the gore I feel, OK maybe I want to believe they leave out the gore so I don't feel alone in mine lol. I do wonder how they got so lucky as to have 18 easy kids.

Everyone has an opinion, random musings to share. As a mommy who is a little different than them or the other blogs I read I thought I'd jump on my own soapbox. I already host blogs for groups or bragging so figured this was a good a place as any.

So to make it easy let me introduce myself. I am a SC mother to 5, how I was able to try 5 times and never get that "average" child is beyond me. I am married to a man, enough said. OK maybe not, he does help, from what I have seen/heard/read probably even more than many men. But he is a man. He works full time, he goes to school, he travels, and sometimes he is blind or deaf to whats around him. I stay home, I have been home for 13 years. That is probably the best way to describe me, since 13 years is long enough to lose your identity somewhere. So I am "mom", one day my kids will grow up and maybe when I go back to school, get a job, or just have a midlife crisis I will find my identity again. For now I am happy with my job title (for the most part).

The kids, I guess I might as well start at the beginning. Emily is 12 ( almost 13). She is very gifted academically, enjoys the computer, legos and lego robotics, reading, soccer, and plays the cello. I am quite blessed that she only has a small tween/teen attitude that only appeared in the past year or 2 unlike all the kids I see with one at 7 or 8. She is helpful, independant but just as everyone has strengths and weaknesses I would say grace and common sense are her weaknesses.

Rebecca can take up a whole blog herself. She is 9, very sweet, helpful, and loving. But she also has ADHD and childhood onset Bipolar Disorder. If there was a real life Dr Jekyl and Mr (or Mrs as the case may be) Hyde this would be the closest you get to it. What does she like? Well she is passionate to say the least, so she likes just about everything. Being a monkey, climbing trees (and anything else), tumbling, jumping on the trampoline, and also playing legos, sports, bike riding, scootering. I wish that she liked reading more though. At least she does well in school too.

Sarah is 4, too smart for her own good. Thinks she's a big girl (shhh, let me believe she will always be a baby). Learns what she wants though. Got her letters (upper and lower) and their sounds from watching a video 2, maybe 3 times at age 2, could read her numbers too yet when she "counted" she always skipped 5-8 until recently and saying her ABCs l, m, n, o became "ellamemo". Needless to say she has a minor ariculation delay she goes to speech once a week for. She is not the most athletic of the bunch either, gotta have a weakness somewhere.

Joseph is 2 and who knows where his personality goes. He is sweet and laid back but boy can he ger MAD. He doesn't talk so has early intervention once a week and speech twice, seems to also have some sensory issues going on. He is all boy, liking tools, trucks and balls. He steers great, rides a big scooter already or terrorizes on his toddler one and watch out for him on a power wheels. Yet he is a mommas boy and likes to suck on his finger and cuddle to sleep.

Anna is 8 months old now. A bit lazy, finally started crawling a few weeks ago, my latest. She is usually known as the baby that smiles all the time. But trust me, she is not always that happy.

Parenting, I don't like labels. I might be considered an attachment parent but in some areas we are extreme (we have 2 sidecarred cribs to co sleep with 3 of the kids) and others we aren't (we yend to only breastfeed till 12-18 months). Not natural either but do take advantage of some homeopathy. We are practicing Catholics so at times that may come into play but this won't be a catholic view blog aimed at that but you have to know it effects our life. I wish stay at home mom actually meant that, but it doesn't, thats OK though, I'd get cabin fever.

Well that should get you started with a cheat sheet, gotta go as the therapist will be here soon.