a lesson in probability, statistics, democracy, cause & effect, or AKA traveling with children

I probably already started my trip jinx because I most certainly heard way more shock, that I would be driving several states away alone with 5 kids, than I heard "have a good time".  And by the time most finish reading this they will not think it was a good time or a vacation, or that I am any less crazy than they thought.  Or maybe it's really only other crazy moms that read this so they will be able to read into the fun, in between the lines and just know the fun things, like plain old unscheduled time with your kids, that weren't written but were there.  Who knows, not that I really care what other people think about my life.  But I digress, so here we go.

I managed to wash laundry and pack through the weekend enough to get Brian and Rebecca nicely shipped off Monday morning by plane, leaving me a couple days to now do laundry and packing for 6 more people with the only backup being my teenager.  Somehow that went off mostly without a hitch (and I later found out the only things I forgot were pool toys and the Wooly Willy Magnetic Face Neon & Hair-Do Harriet I got to occupy the kids, so not too shabby).  The last day I shipped the 2 older girls off to CCD and started on the trunk.  That was when I remembered to test the DVD player as Rebecca said the outlet wasn't working.  Sure enough, 2 of the 3 outlets in the van wasn't working.  It looked like a fuse but we went to see my brother in law the mechanic (since Brian was gone) who verified that.  So off to Walmart we went to fight battle #1.  Nope, not over candy, over shoes.  Joey forgot his shoes and in no way wanted to sit in the cart.  Some slick distraction of the automotive aisle at least got us out of there alive (and with new fuses).  But alas the back outlet still wouldn't work so I spent 30 minutes rigging the DVD case up so the back row could see it while it was still plugged in up front.  Leah did NOT like that.

Somehow we managed to leave at 5:30 am.  It wasn't too bad of a start.  A bit of fussing here and there but with 5 kids there has to be some complex probability equation that determines that one is bound to be fussy at least 95% of the time.  Though I did soon learn that the baby that is amoung my easiest car riders is not so keen on being disturbed from her sleep nor to drive hours at a time nor did she have any intention of waiting a full 3 hrs between feedings like I had planned (and we all know plans never actually work as planned).  But we made it to breakfast without a hitch.  There were some before breakfast democracy issues, 1 wanted Burger King, 1 wanted Chik-Fil-A, 1 didn't want to vote a tie breaker and 2 were too young to vote.  Heck, the only issue at breakfast though was some fear over a cow costume.

After that things get interesting.  Driving down the interstate, somewhere in Virginia, my tire pressure light comes on.  Visions of my blowout in the fast lane of I-95, 100+ miles from home, alone with 2 kids start reminiscing through my mind.  So I get off at the next exit and check everything.  I can't find anything wrong so I check my tire pressures and the lowest is only 34.5.  Did I happen to mention that these tires cost well over $500 and were only a week old?  So I feed the baby and check again, still fine?  Take the kids potty, feed the baby some more, check again...still fine....I call Brian who instructs me to reset the light and, unless I'd like to stay stuck in VA, I'm going to have to get over it and just drive and see if it comes back on.  So thats what I did.  It's been 5 days and it still hasn't come back on, weird.  So we drive some more.  Then somewhere in WV the fuse breaks again and the GPS battery eventually dies.  Oh but was that an Auto Zone we're passing?  Ah yes, quick U turn, a whole package of fuses this time, quick change and on we go again.

Lunch... no DVD player...please can we get there before we have to stop again.  We shouldn't have pushed it.  I am so thankful I pumped a bottle.  Because 1st we get stuck in Pittsburgh traffic and then all the construction has the GPS crazy.  279?  there is no 279...well the line shows it going on 376 so we'll do that...stay on 279 (376)....now get off at 279 N  oh no, now do I stay on 376 N (what it's been calling 279 N) or does it mean the now appearing 279N?  Slight left or regular left?  but there's only 1 left, how is straight a left?  Now I'm lost...recalculating....get off at that exit your flying by and is backed up a mile....recalculating....did I mention the baby's screaming?....make a left, but that's a one way street and left is not the way....recalculating....oh my, she inhaled that bottle but so glad we finally got there.  Where's there?  Meeting Brian and Rebecca for a (now late) dinner at Station Square with a fussy baby through dinner and then a Rebecca attitude, refusal, fight to finish off the night (security cameras must get quite a laugh watching us deal with her sometimes)....

To be continued when I don't have 3 kids screaming, 1 missing, 2 sleeping and dinner to cook without even a call from the hubby

I love this quote

OK, I love a lot of quotes but just saw this on a sign at a church
"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty." ~Author Unknown

kids say the darndest

post 1 in the minipost series

Sarah (4) when it's 95 degrees out daily says "I'm not going to swimming lessons, the water's too cold"

Sarah(4) when being tickled "If you let me go I'll let you clean my room"

5 kids and no minivan aka the transmission saga

So anyone want to hear about the drive home from camping? Halfway home on a 3 hr drive the kids start to get cranky. I think it's time to grab some dinner. Do you want to stop at Cracker Barrel (the usual sit down stop) there's one at this exit, oops too late. I'll check the GPS for food. Nearest food along our route is over 20 miles. No that's OK don't turn around, they'll be OK....What the heck happened? Car won't go, sounds and acts like it's in neutral...worse than when the transmission died on the Lumina, at least then I could drive the 2 miles home in 1st gear it just wouldn't shift. The good news? We were able to glide to a stop off of the road on the side of an exit ramp. It could also be good news that the exit had NOTHING so no worry of traffic, but also nowhere to eat.

OK 6pm on a Sunday in the bible belt, broke down, 1½ hrs from home with 7 people, umm...right. Our spare car isn't big enough for us all, my sister's isn't either, my parents? nope. I have 1 sister who has a minivan BUT she was on the trip too. She left early that morning though, maybe she's home. 30 minutes from the nearest real city, probably an hour from the nearest airport, I just don't see Enterprise delivering in a timely manner. I don't even wanna know what an 88 mile cab ride costs. So my dad and brother in law can both come get us or maybe my sister is home already so my dad can borrow her van. More bad news, she's not home. What? She's 20 miles BEHIND us. So she'll be there in 15 minutes . The tow truck has 2 bench seats...even sweeter. I am very thankful for my guardian angels that day. Though my sister and her family are awesome too and I have to love AAA. The 3 babies and I road with my sister and her babies in their minivan. Brian, the 2 older ones, my brother in law and his older kids rode in the tow truck. The tow truck even stopped at the gas station so they got snacks. We got McDonalds. Though I can't honestly say a 1½ hr van ride with a 10 month old, 2, 3, 4 and 5 year old is exactly quiet. We even had to juggle carseats around again at McDonalds to quiet some.

Oh don't worry, there's more to come...2 weeks worth of "more".

a moms 1st tent camping trip

Yes, you read that right, FIRST time. I have been camping, as a child, I barely remember it but it was in a 5th wheel type camper I think (don't know my campers, or camping for that matter). Now I have come a long way in going on trips. From my 1st trip with a child, my 1st was 3 months old and bottlefed. It was a 21 hr drive and I made us make reservations to stay over TWICE on the way up. I even sat in the backseat next to her the entire trip (and that's something since I am prone to motion sickness). Just to find out the baby slept the whole way. And then packing? I packed as if we were moving to a 3rd world country.

That was then, this is now. 5 kids, the baby was 10 months old, it wasn't exactly primitive camping but it was a tent. So we start with our large 14'x12' tent, yes I was worried it wouldn't fit at an individual campsite, luckily we had a group site. Add in the jogging stroller I never take on trips because of it's size. A large Rubbermaid full of food, a large cooler, ok we definitely need the topper for the van. I really was trying to conserve though, it was only a 2 night trip so some packed backpacks, others shared their small suitcases. I didn't bring pool toys or floats, just their lifejackets (there was a lake with boating) which could double as floats right?(tell that to my kids) I did bring some balls to play with, the whole medicine cabinet, sunscreen, bug repellant, the obligatory 3 baby carriers (1 for the pool, 1 for me, 1 for daddy) etc. OK I did bring a few air mattresses, hey, I'm 30 something, the floor doesn't cut it at my age. But what did I forget?....

:-D .... toothbrushes. Luckily the drugstore wasn't far.

Day 1---set up camp, play on the playground and eat dinner. OK this is probably only half camping because yes, we had a playground and it was Girl Scouts so someone else cooked a full meal. But honestly, I was dissappointed we didn't get roasted weenies. Call me odd but I love a good partially burnt hot dog, it's my favorite kind. I was surprised everyone went to bed so well with others around making noise, being in a tent, etc. So I got to sit around the campfire with my husband and other grown ups, talking...did I mention I was talking to grown ups...while my 4 youngest slept just feet away and my oldest was out fishing with a friend and some other adults. It was fun.

Day 2---the kids slept in, no I am not crazy, majoritively they slept in, even once people started getting up. I was up, I even felt rested, yet my kids were still sleeping. Then, even when they got up, despite all the stimulation and the later bedtime the night before, Rebecca had a good day (oh man, that reminds me, I didn't give her her medicine today, nothing I can do about it at 5 pm, humph). It was a busy day too. Breakfast again was cooked by someone else. Then we went gem mining. It was fun, but the kids certainly didn't need such large buckets, I thought we'd be there forever. I think 10 minutes would have still made the kids happy and I wouldn't have gotten so bored. Besides Anna only wanted to ride on my back so long before she got down. I am sure we all know what happened when she got down (she wanted to eat the rocks). Then back to the campground for swimming (yes it had a pool too, this is probably sounding less and less like camping), lunch and a nap (not me). Then we headed out to see the caverns. It was fun, but wet, I have been in caverns before but never one that dripped on you constantly. The kids enjoyed it, noone got scared, and Brian even wore Joey in the Ergo. Back to the campground for some boating, playing, dinner and relaxing. Another good day.

Day 3---not so much sleeping in but still rested feeling. Today is the day to pack up. That was not the fun part. Anna would eat grass, dirt and rocks if put down. Brian really needed help with the tent. The rest of the kids were eager to get to the pool. But we did finish. We then really wore ourselves out. The pool, boating, picnic lunch, more boating, more swimming, and some mini golf. I was ready to fall over. Luckily we had a 3 hr car drive to relax. Or at least I thought....definitely read the next post for the much less fun, much more eventful, trip home. As for camping, I don't think I got a real taste of it so I want to go back.

Concept Van for moms

So Ford has a really neat Concept van right now http://www.gizmag.com/ford-explores-the-future-of-the-family-car-the-transit-connect-family-one-concept-/11425/picture/74599/

In theory some of the ideas are great but as the mom of more than 2 I see the flaws in some as well. OK biggest flaw being it's not big enough for my family lol. But, for real, hand sanitizer and sunscreen dispensers? Even if I did use hand sanitizer and didn't use spray sunscreen because otherwise I'd be rubbing in sunscreen all day with 6 people to do. But anyway even if I did I wonder how they made it so you could clean it out, so it doesn't get clogged, so the sunscreen doesn't heat up (I mean the outside temperature alone in SC is 100 degrees), etc or did they not? Though if it worked it might be a nice backup in case you forgot sunscreen at home.

A stroller stored IN the floor, awesome, now I have more room to put other stuff. Oh but wait, how do I get to the stroller once the other stuff is on top of the access? I mean don't soccer moms also have chairs, balls, etc and I need to get my stroller out first to help me hall all that stuff.

The technology to give you directions, get your calendar, etc right in the dash would be nice if it weren't ...well... so 1990s. I mean techno moms were using Palm Pilots and are now using smartphones. Who leaves the house without their cell?

Built in scooters? AWESOME, my kids always want those at the park, or when we are already loaded in the van headed to Baseball, 5 minutes late, they want to throw them in the trunk. Oh wait, these are my kids we're talking about, those scooters would never make it back to their designated spots in the van again so we still wouldn't have them.

It doesn't specify the kids "entertainment options", I am sure they are great. But when it all comes down to it, all the entertainment in the world still won't keep them from arguing with their sister.

Electronic tags so you don't forget things? Hmm, wonder how I can rig that up onto my daughters medicine or the other ones reading logs. Yes we won't forget the backpacks or lunch boxes but if they don't put the work in the backpack or leave the lunchbox at school when they come home on the bus I guess it won't do much for us.

I wonder how well the carseat installation wizard works. If it really worked that would be great in helping reduce improperly installed carseats since they are more than in the majority. Can it remind moms that their 30 lb 4 yr old still needs a carseat too?

Walkie Talkies? I sure hope the kids can't reach them in transit, I can just imagine all the squeeling as 4 kids all are trying to use them at once right next to each other mid drive.

OK, plain and simple too, I sure hope that isn't the look they are going for because talk about industrialized looking ugly.

Ford tried to be ahead of their time back in 2001 too, http://smartwomanonline.com/home-service/auto-options/2008/01/minivans-live/ Now some of those concepts are worth looking at heated and cold cupholders? Hot coffee in the winter and frozen lattes in the summer? That's what I'm talking about! Built in vacuum as well as washer/dryer, definitely something to consider for all those hours we want in carpool line, at soccer practice, dance class, etc. Gameboy hookups to keep from fights over the 1 car charger.

Of course as a mom we all know there are a few noone will consider but we really need. Limo glass, personally, I want 2 sets, one to just seperate us from all the kids, the other to just seperate the rear row for when the middle row is trying to sleep. Cell phone dock that accepts ANY cell phone. Because when you drop your phone and break it or the baby naws it to death or the toddler spills sweet tea in it we have to order yet again a new car charger. Or your husband has to have 2, 1 for his car and 1 for yours, or your teenager always forgets to charge theirs until you say, "are you taking your phone?" Better yet a universal charging dock so you can also charge your camera on the way to the awards ceremony or your daughters batteries for her gotta have MP3 player. A pulley system would be nice too, for sending stuff from front row to 3rd row and vice versa. Restraining devices for 9 year old tantrums would be nice too, oh wait, is that legal? Someone else suggested individual pods, now theres an idea, not only can't they touch each other but they can't talk to or look at each other. Hmm...a whole diapering station how about. You know a holder for diapers and wipes with a flip down changing table. That way you don't have to change the baby on the front seat or walk through next to the sliding door b/c the cargo area has too much stuff, instead you can just change them over the stuff. Then you add back in that mini washer/dryer to throw those pooped on clothes into.

Of course I'd just settle for a HYBRID minivan with leg room for a 5'5" 12 year old in the 3rd row. Though a built in potty wouldn't be bad either because we all know the 4 year old will wait till you are all the way out to the van and every single person is buckled, it's 90 degrees out and you are 30 minutes from home to then announce she has to "go potty".

All the Advantages...

...go to...who? Which child gets all that? You know the experts all have something to say. "Only children often develop better verbal skills and excel in school because they are read to more often than children with siblings, she said. " says an ABC article on the subject of only children http://i.abcnews.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/Story?id=2178396&page=1 Oddly enough, here I thought the more kids I had the more read to they were. I mean each and every one gets read to by myself and Brian. But the older kids can read to themselves, but can also read to siblings. As much as some people would like us to believe that helping with younger siblings is such a "hassle", I can't seem to convince my kids of that. A toddler carrying a book around our house usually ends in, "Do you want sissy to read that to you?...come here and sit with me". Of course the toddlers are usually excited to hear yet another story, but even if they aren't my 9 yr old has been known to chase them down anyway. Even the toddlers who can't read are more than eager to "read" to the baby. When my 9 yr old was having some trouble learning so more reluctant to read, she was always more than happy to read to a little one, great advantage to both. Now when my 1st grade niece comes over she loves to show off her reading skills to the little ones. Now with 2 parents, 4 older siblings and 5 older cousins very close by I don't think there are babies who get read to more.

But what about other things? Experts say at least a 5 year gap results in children who excell better academically. Remind me to tell my 2 straight A honors students when they get home. On the other end of the spectrum though Pope John Paul II said it is far worse to deprive a child of a sibling than material posessions. Of course tell that to the kids too.

So really, who has the greater advantage? When I had but 1 child she did have all my attention. She also had all my money: gymboree classes, mommy and me swim, playgroups, playground, drop everything, wait for nothing. But she also was the source of my learning, the source of all my expectations, pushing to grow up just eager to see that next milestone. She was also stuck playing with me because there were no other kids in the house. I used to clean to make sure we got rid of all those germs that could make her sick, during that time she played alone. You can be told a thousand times to really slow down and enjoy those days. But until you really experience it you cannot know how fast they really do fly by. So here you rush to a day at the zoo, playgroup, storytime, disney world, the beach, and more. Of course that doesn't mean that every night she wasn't cuddled, she wasn't read to, or rocked. Of course every night that happened. And there was a lot less cleaning to do, a lot more time to play.

Fast forward 12 years to the other extreme. #5 spends the morning without undivided attention in the high chair eating finger foods instead of being spoon fed, while I unload the dishwasher and make several other breakfasts. I do still talk to her though, in between conversations with the other kids and bites of my own breakfast. She does though get 2 more kisses from older siblings on their way out the door to school. She then spends her morning (at least this morning) being played with and entertained (maybe a little tortured by) by a cute 4 yr old, who she has the undivided attention of: "...look at you, your standing up, I knew you could do it, oh do you want this toy, here let me show you how to do it, uh oh you fell down, thats ok now you can play with this..." Soon it's naptime, everything stops so she can still be rocked to sleep. After 4 other kids, I know this will be so short lived so I am that much slower and more reluctant to put her down (ok fine, I admit, she's asleep on my lap). What's the rest of the day to bring? more finger food, maybe a ride on mommy's back while we let the other kids go for a fun walk, playing in the grass while mommy plays catch with a 4 or 9 year old, being taught the
"baby tango" by a 9 year old, being comforted by a 12 yr old while mommy cooks dinner, or sleeping peacefully on mommy's shoulder while mommy and a 12 year old read. I am pretty sure amoung those things there will not be uncomforted tears or a lack or entertainment, and who could ever have too much love.

Oh yes, some of the above implied an older sibling helped, yep, more of that "hassle". I think there is a big difference though between an overburdon of a tween babysitting constantly and the volunteering of a loving sibling. Yep, that's right, I said volunteering. In this house it's rare for me to "ask" a sibling to help. Maybe a second here and there, "can you hold the baby while I run out to the van in the rain to grab her pacifier". But more often it is a content baby playing on the floor, mommy runs to the restroom and baby suddenly fusses and a face or 2 are instantly entertaining. Or baby playing while mommy cooks dinner, baby cries, mommy rushes to finish something real quick but an older child is already swooping her up, "it's ok, I'll get her" mommy says, the response "but she's crying" as they swoop her up and steal some sweat baby snuggles. Yep, and when their friends come over, they're all pretty jealous of that "hassle"

I'd love to babble on more about all the sweet things you see when you sit back and quietly watch the siblings interactions but I hear a 4 yr old teaching a 2 yr old something so I can't help but run to take a peek.